βe∫∑ïvE
by shirozora
Summary: [Sequel 2 Lights and Sounds] When you're dying a slow slow death, what do you do? Where would you go? Who will you find? What secrets will you disclose? Are you ready to let go? [Crack!pairing][FIN]
1. road to YOU

**Dedicated to readers and authors of Crack! couples.**

**Author's Note:** I wanted to do a follow-up on **Lights and Sounds**. Here it is.

**Copyrights:** Characters, back story, and settings are copyrights of Square-Enix and Disney. The title comes from the Yellowcard song 'Believe', like 'Lights and Sounds'.

**Disclaimer:** If you're dying – not 'if you're going to die' or 'what if you died tomorrow' or 'we all die eventually' – what would you do? Where would you go? Who would you find? What secrets will you tell?

**XXX**

**β**e∫∑**ïvE**

**1 – road to YOU**

It was awfully quiet in Castle Oblivion. One should wonder why, having seen the kind of chaos the great castle was subject to. The thirteen floors shook violently and the thirteen basements echoed as two precocious teenagers charged up and up and up to meet their destinies. Riku was coming. Riku was running up the stairs from the very bottom, haunted by Maleficent and Ansem, guided by King Mickey and a man who smelled familiar, incredibly familiar.

But not familiar enough.

Zexion stopped pacing so constantly and tapped his chin. He looked around but the gloomy walls did nothing to raise his spirits, whatever they were. He sighed. Although they felt nothing, the Organization was full of general excitement as Sora and Riku stepped into Castle Oblivion and initiated their plans for the two Keyblade Wielders. Zexion felt beyond dark, beyond despair. It was a sense of emptiness that went beyond being a Nobody. The only word he could find was despair and despair was what he felt.

In this gloom he kept seeing her, smelling her, touching her, hearing her, tasting her. She wouldn't leave his mind. At times he'd stumble out of his chair, half-asleep, thinking she was around, thinking he heard her voice in the shadows of the basement. And when he would sleep., he would see her on that one dark night, the one night Ienzo reached out for someone with a heart. The Princess.

"Why? What is despair? I'm a Nobody; I can't feel such things as despair. I-waaah! Riku!"

From the shadows Riku stepped forth but his clothes were different, of a darker cast, with the Heartless insignia emblazoned on it. Following him was Axel, and it clicked.

"Oh…oh, yes, of course. Vexen's replica. G-good thinking. We can use this Riku to defeat the real one. Axel?"

He was pacing again, plans shuffling further and further into the back of his mind. Eyes filled in, blue eyes, light in the darkness.

"Say, Riku, it must be hard now that you know you're not real. I bet you'd _like_ to be real," Axel said, looking at Vexen's replica.

"Yeah."

Zexion froze, turned to Axel and the Riku Replica. Axel looked demonic; the Riku Replica was angry. The Princess faded from his mind.

"Well, you can. All you need is strength that the real Riku doesn't have. Get that, and you can be a new person, your _own_ person," Axel continued, his eyes fixed on Zexion while he turned to the Riku Replica. "Not Riku, not anybody else. You won't be someone else's copy. You'll be you."

Zexion suddenly realized what Axel was doing with the Riku Replica. Horrified, he whirled on the Nobody and yelled, "Axel! What are you telling him!"

Axel blatantly ignored his remarks, but as he looked at Vexen's replica, his green eyes went back to Zexion. "You know, I bet he's as good a place to start as any."

_No…no, no, no, no, not yet, no, not this! Axel, what do you think you're doing! Axel!_

"Have you lost your mind!" Zexion demanded, stepping forward. He could feel his time was near, but he didn't want to fight it. He didn't want to use his weapon, his power. He wasn't that kind of person. But still, was Axel finally losing it?

"Sorry, Zexy," Axel said with a shrug and a smile. The Riku Replica stepped forward, sword in hand. The Soul Eater. He stepped back, horrified. No, Axel did not, he didn't…Zexion heard about what was going on upstairs but what hand did Axel play in the deaths of Marluxia and Larxene? "Saving you doesn't seem half as entertaining as observing Sora and Riku."

Another step forward. Zexion swallowed, stepped back again, but he was shaking violently. This wasn't how it was supposed to end! Not for him! Not yet! Not until he's met-

The Riku Replica shot forward, the Soul Eater pointing at his chest, at his soul.

"No…STOP!"

XXX

Kairi gasped, sat straight up in bed, then sank back down, feeling lightheaded and awful. Her mind was ringing with the vivid imagery that woke her, the bizarre dream that told her nothing except Riku was strange. She knew Riku anywhere but she couldn't understand his attire, his weaponry, why he was taking orders from a man with red hair, and why he'd attack…who was he attacking? Kairi rubbed her eyes but all she saw were fireworks behind her eyelids. She looked briefly at the clock next to her bed.

Five twenty-three.

Sometimes when she'd dream, she wouldn't remember the people or the settings. That really annoyed her but what bothered her more was a dream that had no storyline. The dream was obviously showing a sequence of events but none of it made sense. She had no idea what Riku was doing there, what the redhead was talking about, and what that obscured third member was doing.

But that was only one dream. She read somewhere long ago – or heard it from someone – that people dream three or four different dreams a night. She wondered if she could remember any of those that she had before the most recent one. The sky was tinged pink. She decided to close her eyes and block out the color. Suddenly, though, her hands clenched the bed sheets while she gasped in astonishment at herself. No sooner had she closed her eyes was she bombarded by a familiar place. There were tall palm trees and a waterfall, a beach and a wooden dock. Destiny Islands. She was dreaming it was night there and there was nobody else and she had met someone there, someone she couldn't remember. She wasn't sure what happened between them but she suddenly felt something press against her mouth, and yet there was nothing but air around her.

Could she have kissed a total stranger in one of her dreams? That was a bizarre thought, plausible but not for someone like her. This was Kairi, after all. She doesn't have dreams of making out with fake people. She was hallucinating.

She peered out the window again and wondered if anybody was on the beach this early in the morning. Sometimes she'd go down to the shores and dawdle, kicking at the quiet cold waves. Once, she knew, she was caught by the one lone sentry who took it up as his duty to uphold a town law – nobody was to be on the beach between midnight and sunrise. The Mayor once told her of something horrible and accidental that took place between those times on the beach, which was why the ridiculous law was put up in the first place. But while the sun wasn't up yet the sky had color so she could pretend this time that yes, she thought the sun was rising.

_Maybe I'm too sleepy. That didn't make sense._

But she had this incredibly strange urge to get out of her bed, climb out of her window, and go down to the beach. Suddenly she wanted to smell the early morning salty air and watch as the sun rises in all its splendor and shines down on Destiny Islands. Sometimes, when she was out that early in the day, she could hear children's laughter in the wind, her, Riku's, and…

_I can't remember your name. I can't remember your face, your voice, your name. But I hear laughter, and it's not mine and it's not Riku's. Is it yours? It must be…right?_

She slid out of her bed and went to her closet, pulled out a large heavy dark bluish purple jacket. She pulled it on over her pajamas, both which were of thin white material, then pulled out her pink shoes from the closet. She blearily shoved her feet into them, then shuffled to the window and unlatched it. She leaned out as sea air whipped into her slightly hot room, instantly cooling it and bringing her to awareness. She sighed, closed her eyes, and smelled the brine as it and the cold wind woke up her mind and her senses. Then she was pulling herself out of the room and clinging to the ledge, then jumping to the scraggly tree that grew near her window. She climbed down, careful not to scratch herself on the rough bark, and gently let go to land softly on the dirt around the roots of the tree. It was mixed with the sand from the beach.

She jammed her numbing hands into the pockets of her jacket and trudged downward to the roiling waves. The sticky air slapped in her face, pulling and playing with her red hair as she stopped where the dry sand ended and the wet sand from the high tide began. Finally finding solid footing, she stood there staring across the sea to Destiny Islands, knowing with all her heart that everything was beautiful in the wee light of dawn.

He was there, running alongside her and Riku, laughing with them. She couldn't stop wondering at this mysterious person, this someone whose name she couldn't recall but knew so well with all her heart. She chewed on her bottom lip, working her mind furiously but there was still a dull buzz where her brain should be. It was far too early in the morning for her to start working her brain so hard so soon.

And then…and then there was that weird dream she had, the one where…

Kairi scuffed at the damp sand with her shoe, scowling. She wanted to deny it so desperately but she knew that hallucination she had at her bed was no dream. It wasn't a hallucination, not a dream, but something…no, it couldn't be, could it? She touched her lip but it wasn't like that that sensation she had. It wasn't simply something pressing against her lips; she felt something alive. But she never recalled kissing another person.

How could her memories be lying to her? Was that possible? Maybe she was mad in the brain. That could be possible, couldn't it?

A shadow suddenly cloaked the blushing dawn and she shivered. It wasn't a bird flying across the dawn; there was nothing of the size that could block out a sunrise. But it was gone and when Kairi looked up there was not even a gull in the lightening heavens. And then again, she could be imagining it. She could have started dozing on her feet and everything could have gone dark and –

The sky went dark again. She quickly looked up but the there was nothing she could see that would explain the abrupt morning darkness. Then the sea began to roil. There were no wind but before her eyes the already dark sea was becoming black, and the waves began to foment. Kairi stared, stunned but unable to move. She wondered if that was her numbed brain that kept her from running back to the house and diving into her bed, hoping everything was just a very strange dream.

Then it was bright morning, sun climbing higher and higher, and there was a white wisps of a cloud in the sky. The sea was bluer and the waves were lapping at the beach. Kairi pulled her hand away from her mouth, gulped in salty air, and felt her heart calm itself. What had just happened? One minute everything had gone dark and stormy, then just as quickly it was clear morning and there was that old man making his rounds far, far down the beach, too far away for her to worry.

She looked the other way, scanning for anything abnormal, anything strange and suspicious and out of the ordinary. Nothing-

The white foam slid around a black lump meters down the beach from where she stood shivering from the cold sea breath. For a moment she thought it was a sea lion or something; it glistened like something slick, but when she took several steps closer, she saw it wasn't anything remotely like a sea lion. It was something else.

She crept closer, daring herself, taking slow carefully measured breaths. Perhaps it was cast-off tarp or trash floating in from far beyond the horizon. Junk, perhaps, it could be junk. But as she peeped over to the other side, the side hidden from her, she gasped and staggered back, fell into the soaking sand. Kairi tried to scream but her throat clenched, silencing her. Then she scrambled back to her feet and ran to the other side. She fell to her knees, jolted when a wave came in and washed over her dirtied pajamas but all that was forgotten when she saw how the white foam formed around the face.

A person. A castaway, perhaps, someone who survived a shipwreck far, far away and made it here to the shores of the mainland. Yes, that could be it. But there was no word of a ship that sank nearby.

She tilted her head slightly and studied the face. It was of a young man, more feminine than most she had seen. The face looked drawn and there were angry red welts all about his face but she…she wondered if 'beautiful' was a word to describe it. Maybe handsome in a boyish sense, with the damp silvery blue hair splayed out, flattened by the saltwater. He was wrapped in a black material, a coat with metal beads and zippers. He looked like he had just collapsed in the sand, like he staggered out of the waves. Now that she thought about it, he didn't look like the survivor of a drowned ship at all. He just…appeared out of thin air.

Kairi hesitated a bit – he could be dead for all she knew – but then she reached out, tentatively, and let her numb fingers touch the side of his face. He felt so cold but somehow she knew, she just _knew_, that he wasn't dead yet. Somewhere in there, there was still life. If only she could pull him out of the waters.

Kairi looked around but the sentry was still too far away and she didn't want to wait, so she grasped the young man by the waist and, summoning all her pitifully small strength, pulled on him. He resisted but when the next wave came in he seemed to flow to the shore with it. Kairi bit her lip at the heavy weight; she knew the black clothes were weighing him down but she couldn't exactly strip him, not with these early morning elements at play.

After a few more minutes of groaning and grunting and mild cursing and straining muscles she pulled him far enough from the waves that the white foam couldn't touch his black boots. She sat down in the sand next to him, stared at his wholly black attire, and wondered why she didn't find him weird. She knew she had never seen anyone dressed like this before but she didn't feel out of place with this complete stranger. She felt like she had seen someone wear this kind of coat before.

Her eyes wandered to his face and the ugly red lines and the ill pallor, but she could see slight puffs of breath that immediately dissolved under the gentle rays of the dawn. Kairi pulled herself closer and gently slid her hand under his face. She shivered again – he felt so cold! – and pulled his head and his neck and part of his upper body onto her lap, and she cradled him, stared at him half with curiously and half with puzzled familiarity, while she waited for the sentry to come so she could ask him to get help.

"…Miss Kairi, what have you there this early in the morning! You weren't out late, were you-"

Kairi looked up and saw the sentry was indeed nearing. "No, I just got here. I need help, sir! There was someone down by the sea. I just found him. He's hurt. He needs help!"

The old man nodded once – his eyes wouldn't deceive him and Kairi wouldn't lie about something like this – and went up through the dry sand inland, to go to his little lookout booth and dial the local hospital. She watched him go, then gasped when she felt the body jolt. Then she heard the man take a deep pain-filled gasp and looked down.

Dark blue eyes stared up at her, eyes so dark and pained that her heart hurt to see him awake. He was taking shallow breaths now, and his cracked lips were moving slightly, trying to form words. She leaned down, tried to encourage him to speak but it wasn't helping much.

His hand gripped her arm tightly and she winced but she didn't try to pull away. The man moved his mouth again, and she thought she heard him say something about the salt and the sea. But she couldn't tell; it was mostly gurgling to her. She felt sorry for him then, because she didn't have water for him or anything to help him convey his thoughts.

"…I…"

Maybe he didn't need water just yet. Kairi leaned down even closer, until she could feel the lukewarm air escaping his mouth. His breath didn't stink. She wondered why she noticed that.

"…I…I finally…finally found…I finally found…you…"

Her eyes widened. _What?_

His eyes were fixed on hers, pulling her in. They were so dark, so intense; she couldn't help lean in closer.

He smiled. "I…I finally found you…Princess."

_Princess._

She stared at him, shocked, then demanded, "How did you-"

He gripped her arm tightly and pulled himself up, pulled her down, and crashed her mouth against his. Kairi panicked, tried to push him off, tried to pry his clammy fingers off her upper arm, but he held on, held on like there really was no tomorrow. She thought a heart attack had finally come to her; her heart was beating its way out of her body.

But then she knew somewhere deep inside that she had felt lips like these, dry and salty as they were, against her mouth before. And with that thought she felt herself sliding into a trance, and her eyes closed slowly as he slid his mouth against hers.

And then he fell back, his eyes darkening into the world of the unconscious but they were smiling. _Smiling_.

"…rather a kiss…than a lonely…a lonely death…" the young man whispered, then drifted away.

**XXX**

**Author's Endnote:** Sometimes you need to write a shorter story to help launch you back into writing your other stories. Dedicated to the readers and authors of Crack! couples. I love you guys!

**_Please_** review.

Arigatou gozaimas'.


	2. only time

**Dedicated to readers and authors of Crack! couples.**

**Author's Note:** To be honest, I didn't expect the response I did receive for the first chapter. Thank you for your support.

**Copyrights:** Characters, back story, and settings are copyrights of Square-Enix and Disney. The title comes from the Yellowcard song 'Believe', like 'Lights and Sounds'.

**Disclaimer:** If you're dying – not 'if you're going to die' or 'what if you died tomorrow' or 'we all die eventually' – what would you do? Where would you go? Who would you find? What secrets will you tell? What truths will you reveal?

**XXX**

**βe∫Eïv&**

**2 – only time**

Kairi didn't go to school today. She begged her adopted father, the Mayor, not to force her to go to high school that day. She was the one who found the man, she insisted. Let her follow him to the hospital and see if he'll pull through. The Mayor's wife, her adopted mother, intervened on her behalf when her father wouldn't budge. Her mother suggested closure as the reason Kairi would want to join her father at the hospital. And finally the man relented with a grunt, and a beaming but tired redhead was following him out of the house and down the street.

There was quite a bustle in the imposing white building when they walked in. Years had gone by since someone had dropped in from out of nowhere, and people were wondering very desperately who this new arrival was. Kairi was, after all, the last newcomer to Destiny Islands. And not only was she the last newcomer but she had been adopted by the Mayor and his wife, and the whole town loved her. She wondered if they wondered what kind of person had dropped by and how long he'll stay.

There was a sinking feeling in her stomach as they took the elevator to the third story, where the young man had been taken in. There was a horrible sense, as they stepped off the elevator and saw the head doctor walking very swiftly towards them, that something was wrong. She knew he was in a bad shape, with the injuries and the pain in his eyes and the death pallor on his young face, but she wondered if it was just from being carried about by the sea to shore. Judging from the seriousness on the doctor's face and his swift sailing to the Mayor, maybe there was something wrong with him.

Kairi ran her tongue around her lips then, and tasted salt. She touched her bottom lip, then ran her tongue around and tasted salt again. He tasted like the sea. At that, Kairi smiled. She was born on a world with a majestic castle and a paradise at her fingertip, but she knew the sea like the back of her hand. She rather liked the sea brine coating, but the smile quickly slid away when she heard her adoptive father exclaim an expletive. The word echoed down the stark white hall and all motion stopped. Nurses and doctors and janitors and surgeons not on duty and whatnot stared at the Mayor and the head doctor.

Kairi couldn't believe her ears. But at the stern rebuttal from the doctor to lower his voice, the Mayor obliged, but he spoke loud enough for her to hear.

"That's scientifically not possible! I don't need science to know that's ridiculous!"

"We've already redone the tests four times. The results are the same."

"Are you sure the machines aren't broken? You need them replaced? I'll get them replaced for you. I won't have any visitor die while here in my town!"

_Die…_

Kairi couldn't believe it. Die? He's dying? But he was still alive when the ambulance came. He was alive, and his eyes were open when they lifted him on the stretcher and carried him to the ambulance. He was looking at her.

"…vitals are perfectly fine except he's dying. But that's not the only problem. We can't find his heart. This man has no heart in his body. He's healthy yet he has no heart and he's dying. The problem is his lungs. They're fine now but we've noticed a dysfunction. Give several days and his lungs will fail on him."

"He has no _heart_?" the Mayor asked disbelievingly. "How's he alive, then?"

Now she was hearing nonsense. She didn't need a year of biology at school to know that nobody can live without a heart, but the head doctor himself was saying he had no heart. Now Kairi was scared. This stranger who knew who she was and _kissed_ her had no heart and was dying. She touched her lip again and again, wondering. How strange, that she was kissed by someone who _should_ be dead.

".How long, then?" the Mayor asked, resigned. He was defeated, his famous hospitality marred by a man's imminent death.

"The least, two weeks. He's dying slowly and we can't do anything about it. The most he can live is a month. There's nothing we can do, Mayor, no way to help him. I'm sorry, sir."

The doctor bowed, then turned away to another hall.

"What's his name? Did he say his name?" Kairi called out, her voice shaky.

The head doctor stopped, then said, "He said his real name's Ienzo, but I don't know what he means by that. I suppose he used to go by a different name. The receptionists here can't find any records of his name, though. Perhaps…"

The doctor withered under the Mayor's warning glare, and continued down the other hall. Kairi stared at the man's back, then looked at her father. The Mayor was shaking his head. A thousand wrinkles seemed to have creased his face.

"What a strange man…" she heard him say.

"Father," Kairi said slowly; she always called him 'Father' when she was serious, "what room is he in? Where's his room?"

The Mayor looked at her questioningly, then said, "328. Down that hall."

"I'm going to see him. I'll go to school afterwards and pick up my homework," she said, her heart set on seeing him before the inevitable.

"I'll tell your mother," the Mayor said. "Tell him I'm sorry. Tell him we'll put him in the guest room, someplace comfortable. Washing ashore, failing lungs…now I've heard it all…"

The Mayor turned and pressed the button on the elevator. Kairi didn't see him step onto the elevator, was already walking down the hall. The guest room? She wasn't sure what to think about that. This man knew who she was, a Princess of Heart, and he kissed her without warning. If he was moved in under the same roof…

She shook her head as she stopped and looked up at room 328. Suddenly, as she stared at the stark white door and dull steel numbers tacked onto it, her throat went dry and she swallowed nervously, unsure of what she'd find and what she'd see. Her heart was racing.

_He gripped her arm tightly and pulled himself up, pulled her down, and crashed her mouth against his. Kairi panicked, tried to push him off, tried to pry his clammy fingers off her upper arm, but he held on, held on like there really was no tomorrow. _

She caught herself touching her lip again, then shook her head to scatter the thoughts. She turned the doorknob and pushed the door open.

It was a stark white room, a carbon copy of the hospital room sets she'd see on the television. There was an open window, with a fresh salty wind blowing in. there were two seats for visitors, and a small table with what looked like his black clothes neatly folded on it. The hospital bed looked rather breakable and frail, and the IV stand was right next to it. The stranger was in typical hospital garb, with the bed sheets pulled up to his shoulders, and he seemed to be asleep. Kairi decided not to disturb him and took a step back but his eyes opened immediately. She froze, regretted she disturbed his sleep, but then he whispered, "I hate the sea."

It was a strange statement, seeing how he came out of the sea onto Destiny Islands, and Kairi stepped into the room. The door swung shut silently behind her as she stared at him. He turned his head and looked at her, the smile on his face so faint she wasn't sure he was smiling at all.

"Why?" she asked curiously.

His eyes went to the ceiling. "I can smell it everywhere. Everywhere, the smell of brine. It gives me a headache."

Kairi immediately thought of the open window. "You want me to close the window?"

He looked at her again, his pooled dark eyes drawing her to him. She took another step forward, then another, utterly hypnotized. He looked tragic, his face serious and boyish at the same time.

"Do you like the sea?" he murmured.

She was busy wondering at his blue hair, but answered, "I wasn't born here but I grew up next to it. I love everything about it."

He sighed long and low. "I suppose."

Outside a gull shrieked and she saw him twitch. Kairi went to the window and peered outside. It was sunny and the sea was a bright deep blue. She looked back at the man, who was still watching her.

"Leave it open," he then said, "if you love it so much."

_Love._

Kairi bit her lip, then decided to ask him of several things that have been nagging her for a while now. "Why did you kiss me, Ienzo?"

He didn't even shy away, his eyes watching her the whole time. "You don't remember me, Princess…but I never forgot you. It's a long story, a very long story."

"So we've met?" She couldn't recall anyone looking remotely like him in her lifetime.

"Your mouth remembers."

She felt her face go hot with embarrassment. She rubbed at her cheek, then said, "I had a dream about something like this. Maybe that's-"

He was smiling. "You dream of your experiences. We met once, Princess, a very long time ago. I've never forgotten…"

"How long?" She's only been a teenager for a few years and a very long time ago seemed to be even longer than her fifteen years in existence.

"For me it's an eternity between meetings. For you, it only matters when you remember. Until then, just know we met once upon a time."

Kairi suddenly realized she had walked up to the bedside and was sitting in the chair next to him. She jumped slightly, leaning away from him but he didn't seem to notice or mind.

"And…" Kairi hesitated, remembering what the head doctor had told the Mayor. "And the doctor…he said you-you have no…your lungs…I don't know how to explain this…"

"Doctors," Ienzo murmured, amused. "What do they know? They are unaware of Princesses and Keyholes and Heartless. I have no heart because I am a Nobody. A Nobody, Princess, is a Heartless with a soul and a shell. All we few lack are what gives us emotions."

"A Nobody? I've never heard of them before, though. How come-"

"We were lying low, trying to find a way to regain our hearts. We thought we found a way, but our plans fell apart. A disaster…and I am dying because of it."

A chill flushed through her body. _He knows._

"You know you're dying? How…?"

Ienzo sighed, then slowly sat up. Kairi immediately reached over and propped the rather pathetic floppy white pillow up against his back. He looked at her as she pulled away, and her breath was squeezed out as they locked eyes. They were so close, face to face, nose to nose, eye to eye. She felt her limbs shaking.

"I can feel it," he whispered, his breath brushing against her lips. "Even now I can feel life leaving me. Every moment that seems like an eternity brings me closer to non-existence in the final sense."

He closed his eyes. "Soon I'll be gone. There will be no more of me."

"Don't say that," Kairi countered, her voice shaking. "How can you say that? How can you just-just accept it?"

"You can't fight the inevitable. It's only a matter of time."

He opened his eyes again. She felt herself shaking, couldn't look away even when she wanted to. His eyes seemed endless; they made her nervous, scared, fearful, but she couldn't understand why she couldn't look away.

Then he leaned over and she felt his lips touch hers. Though her mind told her to pull away and tell him to knock it off, her body wouldn't budge. She couldn't do as her mind told her to; her body was pulling her in another direction, to him. Kairi reached out and touched his face, cold as it was under her caress. She felt him sigh as she ran a tentative hand through his blue hair, pulled him closer to her. She felt his lips slide against hers, tasted a slight tinge of salt. He hated the sea but he tasted just like it.

They finally pulled apart and she sat back in the chair, flushed and breathless, while he stared at the hospital floor, heaving. She wondered what just happened, then shook her head and ran a hand through her hair.

"I…I have to go…" she stammered, trying to stand but failing. Her limbs were shaking. "I…the Mayor, he said…he said you can stay…in the guest room…until…"

She couldn't say anymore. He raised his head then, and once again looked straight at her. She felt herself burn, her mouth suddenly needy, and she couldn't stop herself as she rose out of the hospital chair and went to him and pressed her mouth hard against his. She felt his hands on her shoulders, a cold touch, and the grip tightened as she pushed into his mouth. She heard herself make a noise in the back of her throat, pleasure, as her senses flooded with the taste of the sea. Why was he like that? Why did he seem like the ocean?

He pulled her to him as she deepened the kiss, and she leaned against the bed, unable to let go of him. She touched his cold face, traced his shape with her fingers, seeking some sign of human warmth. But he was cold all over.

Like what he said. A mere shell. A body without a beating heart.

At length they pulled apart and she stared at him, shocked at herself. What was Ienzo doing to her? She touched her lip as she stared at him, at the peaceful gaze and the slight smile.

"I'm sorry," she said weakly. She couldn't believe herself. She wanted to run away, go to school, pretend that never happened, but who was she to kid?

"What's your name?" he asked softly.

She sat up on the bed, stared away from his eyes. His hand took hers and held it tightly. He was so cold; she couldn't understand at all.

"Kairi."

"You know," Ienzo said quietly as he slid his hand away. "When I became a Nobody, I took up a new name. It's your choice which name to call me, Kairi. It won't really matter, because they're both names for the same…thing."

"Another name?"

He smiled. She could sleep casting a dark starry veil on his face. "You can…call me Zexion…"

xxx

He wouldn't be wearing the Organization's standard clothes anymore. He was no longer a member; Axel had seen to that. Zexion was non-existent to the surviving members of the Organization.

How ironic.

He stood unsteadily against the small table in the room, staring at the black coat and pants. He wasn't sure what to do with them; he had grown rather attached to them – they allowed him to indulge in his fetish, the shadows and night – but he couldn't wear them while here. He doubt he'd wear them again.

Some clothes were delivered to him – "Courtesy of the Mayor, " the giggling blushing nurse informed him – and he didn't know what to think of them. It's been eons since he's worn something 'normal'. He had poked at the denim pants and the thin white shirt with its collar and cheap plastic buttons and sleeves. He was starting to detest long sleeves. The Organization coat made sure of it.

But he did put them on, rolling up the sleeves of the dress shirt, but before he started buttoning the front, he took time to stare at the ugly black bruise festering on the left side of his chest. There was no visible wound, no trace of injury other than the splotch of sickening color on the pale skin, but when he touched it, it burned like a fresh infliction. Wincing, he withdrew his hand and, with care, buttoned the shirt.

The boots he could definite use again, so he put them on. He picked up the coat and pants, stared at the hospital bed with something akin to annoyance, and slowly walked out of the room. He went down the hall, a hand touching the wall for balance, as he went past the receptionists' desk and pressed a button on the elevator. He could feel eyes on him, curious, inquisitive, slightly hostile, but chose to ignore them. All his thoughts were elsewhere. He could smell the trail of light.

The ride down to the first floor seemed like a second and he was walking out of the building, entering the streets of this town by the sea. He wrinkled his nose slightly as a fresh blast of wind brought brine to his sensitive nose, and he tried to ignore it. His thoughts were elsewhere.

Her path led in the opposite direction from the sea. She was going inland. Where to?

People watched him, stared at him, gawked at him as he walked down the sidewalk, taking in the sights and smells. The sea dominated everywhere, but he could smell other things, other stranger things. Wood from buildings, the paint, metal for lampposts, the smell of people and their perfumes, the dogs on leashes, the hunger-inducing scents wafting outside from shops…

How so very strange, after all the times he spent in the stark musty Castle Oblivion hatching plans with the others. It was a bizarre yet brand new experience. He had only a few weeks to enjoy it.

He stopped momentarily to stare at a scruffy-looking black and brown dog barking madly at him, and then at the woman holding its bright red leash. She muttered something about "idiot Scotty" and pulled the yipping dog far, far away from him. Quite bemused, he brushed back some of his blue bangs as he continued down the street.

It didn't take very long to find her after that incident. He was just approaching a building sitting in the middle of pavement and surrounded by a wall when he saw her standing on the street corner across from it. She was talking with some other people and she looked rather flustered. She had also changed dress; now she was wearing a white dress shirt, too, and a short skirt in various shades of blue and white. She also had a tie and high dark socks, and she was restlessly banging what looked like a book bag against her leg as her free hand animated in rhythm with her speech. Her friends – two rather intimidating young men and a saccharinely cheerful young woman – seemed rather fascinated with what she was saying. He decided to wait and stood leaning against the lamp post on the street corner opposite from both her and the school.

The minutes were passing and he was in the midst of studying her red hair when there was a sudden sharp explosion on the left side of his chest and he crumpled to the floor, pressing his hand against the bruise and gasping hard against the pain. From far away he heard footsteps rushing towards him but he ignored them, tried to catch his breath as the pain slowly subsided. Then hands were grabbing him, hands and arms pulling him to his feet, and he staggered against the wall of the nearest building, a grocery store. There were worried voices all around him, and concerned touches, but his ears immediately picked up Kairi's voice.

"…what's he doing here? How'd he find me? Excuse me, excuse me!"

He opened his eyes to see her shoving through the crowd of people, all of varying ages and types. She got through to him and looked at him, her eyes full of fear.

"Are you all right?" she whispered. He felt her hand touch his forehead. It felt cool. "You're burning up. C'mon, we have to get you to my house. It's down that way, a bit close to the beach– that's not far, we don't have that far to walk. Can you walk at all?"

She kept touching his face, here and there, but he didn't mind the least bit. He was starting to feel uncomfortable with the other people pressing in around the two. He preferred they be alone.

"I'm fine," he said quietly. No, he wasn't quite all right – the left side of his chest was throbbing harshly – but he wanted to get out of the spotlight quickly. She seemed to have noticed his discomfort because she turned and said, "Can you give him some room? He needs to breathe. Thank you."

She looked back at him, held his arm, and pulled him away from the wall. "This way."

He walked slowly after her, but stopped two steps away from the wall. "My coat. Where's my coat?"

Immediately a hand stuck out from the masses, holding out his clothes. He was shocked that someone was willing to hand it over to him and remained staring as Kairi took them from the hand and tucked it under her arm. She looked at him questioningly and tugged at his arm. "This way, Ienzo."

Once they were far away from the crowd and were quite by themselves, he said, "You called me 'Ienzo.' Why?"

She had slowed to a very leisurely walk, perhaps not to strain him. "I-I don't know. It just seemed like…it seemed like the right name to call you. It's what you told the doctor, after all."

"Oh…"

"Your other name, Zexion, it's just….stranger. I don't know; it's like once the doctor said your name was Ienzo, that was the name I saw you by. Calling you Zexion because its your other name…it's just not right at all."

"I see."

She offered him a small smile and he returned it. Then he picked up a strong scent of salt and knew they were near the sea. Kairi had stopped before a rather impressive house painted sunset yellow. A few more houses behind it and he could see the ocean.

"This is my house. My father's the Mayor. Not my real father but he adopted me when I first came here seven years ago."

"Seven years? You've lived a very long time by the sea," he said as she led him up the path to the porch and the door. She pushed him gently to the bench on the porch and sat down next to him. He leaned back against the house wall and took a deep breath. Brine swirled in and he resisted the urge to choke. "A very long time."

"I know," she agreed. "But it's my home now. My real home doesn't exist anymore. It's not what it was the first eight years of my life. I don't remember much of it but…it doesn't matter. Home is where the heart is."

"Where the heart is…" he echoed. He was starting to feel drowsy again. He blinked several times but each time the edges of the world became fuzzy and meshed into a blur. Her voice was soft and lulling.

"Ienzo? Ienzo, are you okay? You want to go in?"

He blinked again, saw her face. He smiled. "In a bit…in a bit…"

He closed his eyes and darkness reigned.

xxx

Kairi watched him quietly as Ienzo dozed on the bench. He looked beautiful to her, even when sleeping in such an awkward position, with his back against the wall and his head tilted to the side. She sighed, brushed aside his blue hair, wondering what memories she had of him and whether she did once love him before, if at all.

He was right, after all. Her mouth remembered his. But what was that supposed to mean?

"Only time," she whispered as she leaned against his shoulder and closed her eyes, too. "Only time will tell…"

**XXX**

**Author's Endnote:** Please review.

Dedicated to the readers and authors of Crack! couples. I love you guys!

Arigatou gozaimas'.


	3. famiLiar Love

**For the people who are willing to diss the official story!**

**Author's Note: **So I discovered that I basically screwed the Kingdom Hearts back story regarding the time of Hollow Bastion's destruction. Forgive me? Pretend Hollow Bastion went "KABLOOEY!" when Kairi was eight, and I will love you forever. Yah?

**Copyrights:** Characters, back story, and settings are copyrights of Square-Enix and Disney. The title comes from the Yellowcard song 'Believe', like 'Lights and Sounds'.

**Disclaimer:** If you're dying – not 'if you're going to die' or 'what if you died tomorrow' or 'we all die eventually' – what would you do? Where would you go? Who would you find? What secrets will you tell? What truths will you reveal? What memories will you recall?

**XXX**

**β**e∫E**ïve**

**3 – famiLiar Love**

He dreamt of the Riku Replica's weapon stabbing him in the chest where his heart once was. It was an excruciating pain, beyond all possible imagination, beyond what torture could induce in someone. It was a terrifying flow of agony that drove him mad as he fled Castle Oblivion, escaping from the Riku Replica's grasp through a portal that led him directly outside. There he collapsed in a heap and lay there for some time, slipping in and out of reality, before he woke up to living pain and one thought, one mind-wracking though that drove him to abandon the Organization and all its plans and follow the small memories he harbored of the Princess of Heart.

Kairi.

What would the Keyblade Master do if he found out what a Nobody was doing here? Once in a while his mind toyed with the thought but he shook his head and the thought was cast aside. No, he wouldn't have to worry about the Keyblade Master. Not at all. Never.

But her, her he'd worry for as long as he remained here. He was certain of it. And it drove him mad. He didn't know what he wanted from her. He didn't know what he wanted, what he as Ienzo wanted as opposed to Zexion. Both of them wanted the Princess. Even the Nobody that was him wanted the teenage girl.

He had such a short time to understand himself. Such a short time and already his mind was changing. He was thinking what he never would've considered a few weeks ago. What changed him?

_Laughter. It was everywhere, as eternal as the sunshine. A child's laughter. Joy. She was smiling, giggling, laughing, the wind teasing with her short hair and tangling the deep red locks. He was smiling, too, smiling and laughing. Everywhere the sun was shining and in the distance rose crystal castle walls, surrounding them and shielding them from the outside world._

What?

He stirred slightly but his eyes remained closed. He was drifting in and out of consciousness. As swiftly as it came, the moment disappeared.

Something salty in the air. His senses were stirring him, urging him to wake. Even as his senses were coming aware and he smelled cold salty air flowing around him he felt something touching his face gently, slow smooth caresses. He opened his eyes slowly and saw Kairi watching him. There was a sad gentle look in her eyes. She smiled, then whispered, "Good morning."

She was sitting on the guest bedroom next to him, tracing his face with the light touch of her fingertips, brushing at his long blue bangs. He smiled hesitantly, closed his eyes again. He opened them again when he felt her fingertips brush over his lips, sent a sensation flooding through his body. Kairi flushed and pulled her hand away.

A nearby seagull shrieked, then flew away.

He sat up slowly, wincing slightly at the aching in the left side of his chest. The imagery was vivid in his mind and it was painful. But he didn't want to show it to her, wanted to hide away the memories of the last few minutes before the Riku Replica delivered to him the death sentence. She didn't need to know. Nobody here did.

Kairi moved herself closer as he leaned against the headboard of the bed, taking in slow deep breaths, trying to hide from her that he wasn't as strong as he was two weeks ago. He had long ago accepted it was inevitable but hiding it from her – who would never accept that someone like him was dying – was difficult. But maybe she already knew. Her eyes were staring at the place where the black and blue bruise was. It had never changed color and, to him, it seemed to be growing, spreading.

But it could be his imagination.

"Does it hurt?" she asked softly, hesitantly.

People who have hearts and souls and bodies and lives fear the shadow of death. They fear too much to bring it up amongst each other. But he, a Nobody, did not fear it. It would have come for him anyways. This time it had just come too early.

"Not yet," he said quietly. He tilted his head to her. "Not yet."

Her smile was shaky but still held as she leaned over and kissed him softly. He clung to her mouth for a moment longer, then let go. She drew back, then stood up, stretching and yawning a bit.

"You're a heavy sleeper," she remarked as she went to the large window in the room. It opened up to the sea two houses down. "Dad always stomps around in the mornings waking me and Mom and sometimes our neighbors, but you slept right through it. You're the first."

There was a grin on her face when she looked back at him. He wasn't sure what to say about that so he just returned it with a slightly bigger smile. He nodded then closed his eyes and took in another deep breath. This time, mingled in with the brine, was her smell, the smell of light. It was a strange aroma, twisting and swirling and making his head spin.

"Do you…do you want to go down to the beach? Just once? Maybe you'll change your mind. Maybe you'll like it this time…" she asked hurriedly, suddenly nervous and insecure.

He opened an eye and looked at her. She looked hopeful and defeated at the same time, bracing herself for the best and the worst. He wondered about her request, wondered why he shouldn't deny it. He'd be with her after all.

"In a minute," he said. He'd be with her and her scent will deter the brine that he loathed so much.

xxx

_He was staring out the window, his heart racing with excitement. Ansem the Wise had agreed at long last. Despite his youth he was a genius and the leader of Radiant Garden had acknowledged him. Tomorrow would be the start of a new road, a new path to a brighter future. The wait was just overwhelming._

_Light rapid footsteps down the hall attracted his attention and he turned to see a little girl, perhaps five, running towards him, her expression harried and filled with worry. She came to a stop at his feet and stared up at him with wide blue eyes. _

_The sunlight streaming in glowed on her. She was a beautiful child._

"_Hello," she chirped up, a grin instantly forming on her face. He was rather taken back by the abrupt transition but then smiled and nodded in return._

_She looked behind her quickly, then looked back at him. Tapping the toe of her sandal on the marble floor, she then asked curiously, "What's your name?"_

_He answered. She looked behind her again and this time he heard another pair of footsteps down the hall. He looked at the little girl with a question and she said, "I need a hiding place. Do you know one? I'm playing hide 'n seek with Grandma, and I can't find one!"_

_He smiled. He knew the perfect place. "I'll take you there."_

_She giggled as he picked her up and carried her across the hall to a tapestry that Ansem the Wise wouldn't hide away, despite complaints from others who traipsed around the castle. Behind was a door, and he took her inside a small room stacked with dusty scrolls and books. It was Even's secret horde but he already knew of it._

_The little girl giggled as he set her down on the reading desk and went to the door. He pressed his ear against it and heard someone stalking past, muttering about little girls being more stress and worry than little boys. He looked back at the girl, who sat grinning madly, and smiled._

"_What's your name?" he asked the little redhead._

_And she told him._

_And for three years, she became his closest friend, a little girl and a young teenager._

xxx

Kairi always caught herself staring at Ienzo and at times she hated herself for it. She especially hated it when there were people around them when it happened, especially down at the kitchen. She had caught knowing looks from her mother but steadfastly ignored them. Selphie often questioned her sudden tendency to drift away during class, but the two boys Tidus and Wakka always had the ready, and right, answer at hand.

"Ienzo."

Only her willpower saved the boys from flying clumps of rice from her lunch. But it was useless. They were right. Her mom was right. Even her dad was starting to notice and the Mayor wasn't quite as happy with Ienzo as he was the first two weeks. It was rather problematic, but Kairi didn't know how to face it. There were two different worlds, one where she lived quite normally with her friends and family, and the other where she often drifted elsewhere with Ienzo.

Sometimes they'd sit in his room and talk about nothing for hours and hours. She could never remember what they were saying and thinking but he always stopped her with a soft kiss before she went back to her room to do homework.

Then again, she always snuck one when nobody was looking. She supposed she's guilty, too.

A touch on the shoulder jolted back on reality and she turned quickly to see Ienzo staring rather defiantly at the crashing waves and the shrieking gulls. He would not move an inch closer to the sea. Kairi could see other beachgoers staring at them – at Ienzo, she supposed, glaring sourly at all those girls with their bikinis and tans – so she tugged at his arm and pulled him further back up to where a bunch of tall palm and coconut trees stood. There were a few other people hiding from the sun but when the two approached, they soon found the place empty except themselves. Ienzo stared blankly while Kairi tried not to giggle. She also felt sad, to the point it angered her. The past two weeks, people had been gawking at Ienzo, gawking and staying far away from him. Did they know about his condition?

Ienzo sighed then slid down against one of the trees. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, his hand trailing spirals in the cool yellowish white sand

Kairi sat down next to him, too, sat there with her legs pulled up and her arms crossed over her knees. She laid the side of her face against her knees and watched him. There was a teasing hint of a smile on his face as he sat there with his eyes closed. He seemed to be dozing. His hair swayed as the winds blew in from across the sea. She could smell the bloom of tropical flowers on Destiny Islands.

It seemed a shell encased her, Ienzo, and the stand of trees they sat under. Life swirled around them, chatting beachgoers and soaked dogs and rolling beach balls, but the two were left alone and untouched. Kairi yawned and leaned against Ienzo's shoulder, blinking slowly as a scruffy-looking retriever approached them. Its tongue was lolling to the side; the ocean dripped off its long twisted fur. It sniffed once, then trotted away.

A soft buzz, like bees drifting by. Then darkness came swiftly. A blur, then through the noiseless dissonance she heard faded voices, hazy and distant.

"…_what's this place?"_

"_It's someone's private library."_

"_Are we allowed to be in here?"_

"_As long as you're with me, Even wouldn't mind."_

"_Who's Even?"_

"_Someone I'm going to start working with tomorrow."_

"_Is this why King Ansem wouldn't get rid of the carpet on the wall?"_

"_Well…I suppose…"_

Was this just a dream? Or was it a memory? She...she didn't remember…and yet it seemed so real. What happened? What happened that should have never taken place? What were these two voices talking about? Why did they sound so familiar? She strained to hear, tried to understand, but the voices faded away and she was left hanging in the realm of sleep.

Then she felt something cool press against her forehead and she stirred, opened her eyes. The sky was tinged pink and orange, colors of a rosy sunset, and the lights were playing across the waters. Destiny Islands was bathed in a blushing orange-pink light.

She turned her head to the right, looking for Ienzo, but was met with lips upon hers. The noise of surprise from her throat faded as Ienzo deepened the kiss, asking her silently, and she opened her mouth, was soon swept away. He had been avoiding the beach and the elements of the sea for two whole weeks but he still tasted like the ocean, soothing and torrential, rippling and storming. She gripped his shirt tightly, pulled him against her as he caressed the inside of her mouth, sending chills through her body with each subtle twist and turn. They pulled apart momentarily for a breath of air then Kairi reached up and touched his face, pulled him closer and kissed him. She leaned back, pulling him with her, and braced her free arm against the sand. He slowly pressed her down into the sand as he yielded to her feverish advances, gripped her shoulder tightly as he reacted forcefully, fought her for control. She felt heat rising, felt her blood pulsing, kept going, couldn't stop, felt tremors race through his body, pressed her leg against him to keep him in one place, asked desperately for a way to release the pounding inside her. He wouldn't give, though, held back as he finally wrested control away from her.

It hit her then, a shocking sudden chill of familiarity as the pulsing inside her began to slow. Ienzo kissed her softly, slowly, bringing her back down to reality, but she had already crashed. A shudder rushed through her body as she grasped at the trail of memories that were never there.

_Water pouring all around her. A violent kiss under the waterfall at Destiny Islands. When? How? Why? With who?_

"Are you all right?" he whispered in her ear. She could hear his ragged breaths, sensed pain in his voice. She suddenly remembered the pain he often experienced on the left side of his chest, and how he sometimes talked to her about the wound inflicted there, the fatal blow that was slowly killing him. How many seconds, how many minutes, how many days did she take away with that selfish desire, selfish impulse of hers?

She closed her eyes and pressed her sweaty forehead against his. "I-I'm sorry, Ienzo. I'm so sorry…I…I couldn't…I couldn't stop…"

She took slow deep breaths, tried to slow her heart down. It was pounding, out of control, every beat jolting through her whole body. She opened her eyes and looked at him. He looked so sad, and there were flickers of pain in his deep dark eyes. She wished she was still dozing with her head against his shoulder, wished she had never lost control.

"There's nothing you have to be sorry about," he murmured as he kissed her neck. She shivered. "I should be the one…to ask for forgiveness…"

"Why?" she asked as he kissed the other side of her neck.

"Because we met. We met a very long time ago…and you changed me, for better or worse…"

She captured his lips with hers and half a minute later they pulled apart. He sat up slowly, leaned heavily against the nearest tree as she pushed herself up as well. She brushed back her hair and dusted the front of her pink dress. Kairi then looked at the sunset. The sky was growing darker.

"We should go," she found herself saying as she stared at the first star in the sky. She looked at Ienzo when he didn't answer. He was watching the star, too.

"You were born in Radiant Garden," he said suddenly as he slowly looked at her. Kairi stared; it looked like he had captured the starlight in his eyes. "You were born in Radiant Garden and you left when you were eight. I remember. I knew but now I remember."

"What…what does that mean?" she asked curiously as she moved closer to him. He sat with his legs out straight, the soles of his shoes facing the sea. He had a faraway look on his face and, bathed in the nostalgic light of twilight, he looked rather noble. "What do you remember about me?"

She remembered, here and there, what he said about his life in Radiant Garden. Was she ever involved? Had she ever met him before, without knowing? Was that possible? The thought of such a coincidence was frightening.

"I was a young teenager," Ienzo said slowly, "and I remember standing in a hall of the castle at Radiant Garden, staring outside at the gardens, the towns, the people of Radiant Garden. Tomorrow was my first day as a researcher with King Ansem the Wise. And as I was staring, a little girl ran up to me. She was maybe four or five. So innocent, so carefree…she was a beautiful child, I remember. She smelled of innocence. She asked me for my name and I gave it to her. She never answered when I asked…but she said she was hiding from her grandmother, a game of hide 'n seek, and asked if I could help her hide."

He smiled. "We were friends for close to three years. But near the end, it got harder to see her. The research King Ansem was conducting was dangerous, and with each experiment the results were more horrifying, terrifying, unexpected, nothing we ever thought could happen. It disturbed me so much at times I refused to see her, for fear I would inflict upon her innocence the darker side of reality I was witness to. Even Ansem knew his research was unnatural, too dangerous to be properly controlled if something went wrong. He was so horrified at the possible consequences he stopped the research but his personal assistant Xehanort pressed on. And I…I thought Xehanort was right. I thought it was wrong for King Ansem to stop so I agreed with my colleagues to continue. The last time I saw her was the day before I was to be experimented on. I told her what might happen but…I didn't think I'd find myself more than dead but less than living. And Radiant Garden collapsed soon after. I never saw her again."

Ienzo looked at her sharply, then spoke in a voice so low she could barely hear him over the rippling sea.

"Do you remember?"

And Kairi, to her horror, could. She stared at Ienzo, at the memories flooding her mind, at the story he told of a little girl he held close to him so long ago, before those experiments he described that eventually destroyed the world Kairi once called home.

"That's…that's…I don't believe…oh god…" she stammered, leaning away from him, gaping at him, too stunned to find another reaction, another response. "I…I remember…I remember, Ienzo…oh god…"

Once a very long time ago, she became friends with an older boy, one who looked kindly upon her like a brother. Those heaven-sent memories vanished when she was sent out to Destiny Islands and they disappeared, all the memories of Radiant Garden save one – the story her grandmother told her of light and darkness.

Ienzo leaned close, raised his hand, and gently touched her face, caressed it. She sighed and closed her eyes, shivered at the cool hand that cupped the left side of her face and drew her close. He murmured to her, his lips touching hers, "I missed you."

If little girls could crush on older boys, she was in love with one. Kairi smiled, opened her eyes, whispered, "I missed you, too."

She then leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.

xxx

_He was to be the first test subject. He himself volunteered. He wasn't excited, more like stubbornly set on getting through with the research, seeking the breakthrough. He felt fearless. He _was_ fearless. He had nothing to fear._

_That was a flat out lie and despite repeating the mantra repeatedly the last week and three days, he felt no more confident than he was when he first declared he'll be the first test subject. _

_It wasn't himself he feared for. It was his little friend, the eight-year-old girl, that he worried about so much. He wondered what would happen if he wasn't able to survive the tests. What would happen then? What would happen to her? _

_He couldn't bear thinking that he'll never see her again, never talk with her about school and family and friends and imaginary kingdoms, never share his lunches with her whenever King Ansem the Wise stopped research for a break, never help her with her primary school homework, never walk her home to her kind grandmother who had long since forgiven him for helping the little girl hide during that game of hide 'n seek years ago, never pick her up in a tight hug and tell her she's beautiful…_

_He couldn't believe he was falling in love with a little girl._

_He went out to the castle gardens, knowing he'd find the girl there. She was always there at a certain time of the day, waiting for him to appear so they could spend the rest of the day together. He wondered if she would be happy today. He couldn't imagine dampening her mood or possibly devastating her with the news of tomorrow's clandestine experiments._

_She was in a thoughtful mood that day, though. She was sitting under one of the largest trees in the garden and she was twirling a bright sky-blue flower between her fingers. She was wearing a white and purple summer dress and sandals which matched her deep rich red hair. Next to her was a book bag with some large picture books peeking out of it._

"_Hey," he said as he sat down next to her. She wouldn't look at him, though. "Hey, what's wrong? I'm here."_

"_I know," she said sadly. "I know…"_

_He bent down and tried to see her face through her short red hair. "What's wrong, hm?"_

"_I had a dream last night," she said plainly. "You were going away."_

_He hesitated. What? "Where was I going?"_

"_You wouldn't say," she said stubbornly. "You started walking away and then everything turned black. And when I could see again you were gone."_

"_Oh…" _

_Now he felt depressed. He leaned back against the tree. "Listen…"_

"_Are you going away?" she asked immediately. Her voice was shaky. "Are you?"_

_He smiled. No, not in that way. "No, I don't plan to. But listen. I need to tell you something. Promise me you won't tell anybody else."_

_She nodded eagerly, let the blue flower drop in the grass as she turned herself and her whole attention upon him. "I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die!"_

_He laughed quietly, shaking his head at the childish oaths of honor. "We don't need that. It's just…listen. Tomorrow, I'm going to be working on something very dangerous. Tomorrow I can't see you. And…and there might be a chance-" his eyes were blurring "-that I might…I might not see you again. Do you…do you understand what I mean?"_

_He hoped she didn't. But the girl looking at him was a solemn serious child._

"_But…but you said you weren't going away," she said, her voice shaking violently. Her blue eyes were too shiny. "You just said you weren't going away!"_

_He suddenly realized she didn't dream that he was simply going away and never coming back. She dreamed he died. That horrified him. How could someone so young dream of something so terrible?_

"_I…I didn't mean it that way…" he said haltingly, shocked as he saw the tears beginning to fall "Oh don't cry, please don't cry…"_

_He pulled her close and held her tightly. She started crying openly into his chest, sobbing, holding on tightly. He closed his eyes, felt the tears soak through his shirt, felt a tear crawl down his face, too. This was what he feared, he thought. This was his fear – that he'll lose her forever._

_But the research must continue. It _must_. There was no other way._

"_You were the bestest friend I ever had," she muttered as she wiped her eyes with her arm. "The very best. Promise me you'll be fine. Please?"_

_He smiled, although he knew this was only fifty-fifty. "I promise. I always promise."_

_He pressed his lips gently against her forehead. "I promise I'll come back. Don't worry, okay?"_

_She nodded, hugged his neck tightly. "Okay…"_

_He held her even closer, wished he was younger, wished she was older, wished there wasn't such a huge gap in time between them. But life wasn't like that. Tomorrow he might die. Today he was in love with someone too young for him. Each day was a battlefield, a tug of war, and it never went the way he wanted it, too._

_But he'll come back to her, no matter what. All words were still sealed under the oath she declared._

"_Cross my heart and hope to die."_

xxx

He wondered why the memories started coming back to him. It came out of nowhere while he sat dozing on the beach with her. He woke with the last memory, the last goodbye, fresh on his mind, and when he felt a pressure on his shoulder, he looked down to see her sleeping, and his gut twisted as he suddenly realized how familiar she looked. How much she looked like the little girl.

It shocked him momentarily, made him wonder about the stunning coincidence, the circumstances that brought him back to her. Their paths had diverged drastically; he sank into the darkness of a Nobody and she was a Princess of Heart tied to two Keyblade Wielders. And now they were together again, a teenage girl in love with a dying young man.

He touched the left side of his chest tentatively, winced. The pain was more frequent but never changed in intensity, for which he was thankful. He hated the thought of spending the last moments of his non-existent life in utter indefinite agony.

He stared at the window and sighed, then slouched a bit until he felt a little more comfortable. His body was aching, here and there, and the discomfort was grating on his nerves and patience. It made him wish the Riku Replica had made his end more swift, so that he didn't have to suffer until he finally disappeared.

But the swifter the end, the less likely he would have found his way back to the Princess of Heart. And the less likely he would have discovered the latent bond between them, a bond older than the one they had forged that one day so long ago.

He wondered why Kairi remembered an older memory first. Did she need prompting from him for the more recent one, too? He hated to strain her heart but he really wanted her to remember before he died.

Sleep was coming. Sleep. He embraced its welcoming gentle touches, loved slipping away and drifting off in a surreal world of his making, of Ienzo's memories and Zexion's. He inched downward until he was lying on his back and staring at the ceiling.

The door squeaked open and he sat up to see Kairi peeking in. Then she stepped into the room, closing the door quietly behind her. She was wearing the same pajamas she wore when he first saw her again many months ago, and memories stirred in his mind. He looked at her questioningly.

"I…um…can I sleep here…with you? Tonight?" she stammered as she inched to the bed. He didn't know why she was asking; this wasn't his room, after all. He had no control over who came in and out. Silently he moved to the right side of the bed, leaving space open and inviting for another person.

She smiled hesitantly as she sat down on the bed next to him. "I…don't you think it's strange, Ienzo? We were friends for three years, and then…we meet again. How strange, after my life had a complete turnaround and…and I became involved with what you and your…colleagues researched, that you'd come back and remind me of what life was like the first eight years of my life. So weird…I remembered my grandmother. And…and I couldn't stop thinking about her…about where she was, about whether or not she…she died…"

She rubbed at her eyes, then took a deep shuddering breath. "And then…and then I wondered…what would have happened if none of this ever happened. You know, like the whole experiment with the Heartless that…that made you…you. And I realized that I would have never come here. I would have never met…Riku or…that boy."

_Sora_, he thought silently. _He still escapes your memories. But you will remember, Princess, Kairi, you will remember him._

"But I don't know what's worse," she said miserably. "Would things have been better if I was still living…there…or would things be better…here?"

"We'll never know," he said firmly. "Accept what's now Kairi. Accept it, believe it, make the most of it. Go to sleep. You'll stop worrying."

She ran a hand through her hair. "I suppose…"

She pulled back the sheets and slipped in. He watched her snuggle into the blankets, then turned off the light from the lamp on the bedside table and followed suit. Moonlight was streaming in. He knew what it reminded him of, but he didn't say anything to her. Not yet, something inside him kept saying. Not yet.

He watched her and she was smiling, her face half-covered by the pillow.

"Good night…" she whispered, as he closed his eyes.

xxx

It happened suddenly, one week later, when he was walking with her home from her school. They were going at a leisurely place, especially because he had admitted he was getting very tired constantly, even with such a simple activity as walking. He made no mention of the discomfort in the left side of his chest but she already knew.

They were only a block or two away from her home when there was a sudden force of agony ripped through the left side of his chest and spread through his whole body. He cried out in shock as he collapsed, his legs unable to support him. He heard Kairi scream as he lay there on the pavement, shaking as raw pain spread everywhere. He didn't know his head from his feet anymore. Soon the hot pain blocked out her screams and darkness descended on his mind. He was so sure he was finally dying. The final death.

But then he suddenly stirred from utter darkness. The pain was constant but not enough as he found himself drifting back into consciousness. He sensed his head resting on a soft giving surface but he was still outside, still on the pavement, and there were other feet around him, feet and legs and a growling scruffy dog.

He felt fingers running through his hair and something warm and wet kept dropping on the side of his face and sliding down. He whispered unintelligibly and moved his hand. It ached and it took all his energy to move his elbow, but a warm slim hand clasped his cold one and held tightly.

"Don't go yet," he heard Kairi whisper into his ear. "Please don't go. Not yet, Ienzo, not yet…"

In the distance came rapid footsteps and the Mayor shouting for people to get out of the way. He seemed so far away.

He wasn't sure if he was leaving. The world slid in and out of focus, was thrown into shadows and brought back into light, but all the while her hand held his tightly. Then she let it go and cradled his head in her lap. She whispered, her voice so shaky, "Please don't go, please don't go, oh please don't go…"

He found himself murmuring dreamily, as the world remained unfocused, "Don't cry, Kairi. Don't cry…not yet…not yet…"

No, he wasn't ready to let go. But his time was nearing. It was inevitable. But it didn't have to be this hard, this painful, this open, this…. His muscles clenched as a wave of pain wracked his body, sent his mind reeling.

The Mayor was still shouting but too late, he was already drifting back into deep sleep.

"…I love you…" he murmured before he closed his eyes.

**XXX**

**Author's Endnote:** Yeah, uh…so I kind of BS'd Ienzo's past to make it work with the story. I also in the process fingered the official KH back story regarding Hollow Bastion. Sorry about that.

Please review.

This chapter written for those who don't give a damn what the official story is, because that just ruins the fun.

Arigatou gozaimas'.


	4. memories

**For those who know stories don't end like the last chapter did.**

**Author's Note: **I'm in a rather apathetic but content mood right now. Which means there's nothing much but for you to read. You would have a difficult time understanding this chapter if you did not read _Lights and Sounds_. Just a warning.

**Copyrights:** Characters, back story, and settings are copyrights of Square-Enix and Disney. The title comes from the Yellowcard song 'Believe', like 'Lights and Sounds'. 'memories' is the title of various songs, including two awesome ones by Gackt and Within Temptation.

**Disclaimer:** If you're dying – not 'if you're going to die' or 'what if you died tomorrow' or 'we all die eventually' – what would you do? Where would you go? Who would you find? What secrets will you tell? What truths will you reveal? What memories will you recall? What will you hold on to before you let go?

**XXX**

**β**e∫E**ïve**

**4 – memories**

The Mayor knew how distressed Kairi was but he didn't know how to comfort her, felt helpless as he watched her pace endlessly a path into the floor of the hospital's ER. He had never seen his adopted daughter so agitated, so stressed, over another person, which made him feel even more helpless. What was he to say to her? How could he comfort her when he himself never had the experience of caring so deeply for a total stranger who was slowly dying?

_All I can do is watch,_ he thought sadly as the head doctor approached and Kairi ran to him. _All I can do is watch and wait…why did he have to come? Why did you have to come? You're tearing my daughter apart before my eyes. Why did you come here? Why not elsewhere? Why couldn't someone else find you? Why did it have to be her? Why did it have to be mine? And if you finally die, then what am I to do?_

He sank himself in the dark thoughts as he watched Kairi rush past the head doctor and down the hall. The head doctor then made a bee line to the Mayor, who immediately shook his head and stood up at attention.

"He isn't going to be alive much longer," the head doctor whispered, his eyes roving in search of eavesdroppers. "He must have been having these…'attacks'…for a long time."

"Attacks?"

"There's a bruise on the left side of his chest and it has never changed color. He reacted to it when I touched. Violently. It seems to be causing the pain. There's nothing we can do, Mayor. All we can do is make him comfortable. It won't be long."

"But…" _But what of Kairi? What of my daughter?_ "But what does he want? What does he want with his last days?"

The head doctor shrugged. "He won't say. He must have something else in mind. All he asked was to send your daughter to him. I suppose…"

The head doctor let the sentence hang. "I don't know, Mayor. I'm sorry, sir. I'm really sorry…"

The Mayor shook his head, placed a supporting hand on the doctor's shoulder. "You've done your best. We all have. Let's give the stranger a little more, before he passes on."

The head doctor nodded. The Mayor pulled his hand back and watched the man stride off to attend to other business. He then sighed and sank into his seat, didn't know what to make of the whole situation. The Mayor felt powerless and it was making him miserable.

xxx

Kairi sat silently on her bed, tugging at her red hair, lost in thought. She left all the windows open and the breeze from the sea chilled her. She was wearing her school uniform but only one sock was on and she didn't button up her blouse; she wasn't quite in the mood to care if someone walked in and found her sitting around exposing her bra to the whole world. Her tie hung over one shoulder and her shoes…she didn't know where the left shoe went-it was over there next to her book bag, partially covered by the papers spilling from the bag.

School had started two hours ago.

Today both parents had left home early, so they didn't know she hadn't gone to school. Kairi had no will. She hadn't had any will to bother going to school and retaining a normal teenager's life. Her life was already abnormal, and…

She grabbed her pillow and buried her face into it. She didn't know what to do! She heard what Ienzo said to her, out in the open before her father came to help her take Ienzo to the hospital, and was so scared somebody else heard his sudden confession, too. But nobody made mention of it. Perhaps they didn't want to upset her any further. It didn't matter. She was so sure someone heard him say it.

"…_I love you…"_

After all this time, after all these years, after all these memories, he finally said it. He brought it out in the open, and now she had to respond. She couldn't just pretend he never said it and carry on like they were secret lovers. Well, they were but…but it was like an unspoken thing, something they simply didn't bring up.

But he was dying. How much more time did they have together before he finally leaves? She'll never see him again. He'll be forever lost. Perhaps that's what he thought. Maybe that's why he told her he loved her.

Kairi wondered what he was doing right now.

She tossed the pillow aside, then stood up and, shoving on her right shoe before fetching her left shoe, she left her room and went down the hall to the guest room. Ienzo hadn't left the house, not since he came back from the hospital a week ago. He was rarely out of his room; one who walked in could find him either sitting in a chair near the window with the view of a handful of houses and the sea, or lying in bed, being thoughtful, tired, and drowsy.

She knocked softly on the door, then twisted open the doorknob and slowly pushed it open. She looked inside. "Ienzo?"

He was standing in front of the plain dresser in the guest room, his shirt off. She could see the black and blue blotch on the left side of his chest in the mirror on the dresser; she cringed at it. She could feel something evil reeking from that strange wound.

He turned quickly to her, stared. She swallowed, then pushed the door open wider to let herself in. Ienzo smiled softly, then grabbed the shirt lying crumbled on top of the dresser and pulled it on. He turned away and began to meticulously button it up, trying to hide the bruise. She knew he hated other people staring at it, even though some already knew of it.

After watching him for a moment, she went over to him and, pushing his hands away, finished slipping the buttons into their little corresponding holes. He stood there frozen, his hands hovering on either side, and when she lowered her hands he closed his on them. She looked up at him, surprised.

"Thank you," he said simply.

His hands were cold. She could feel tremors coursing his body. Standing there seemed to sap his energy. She gestured to the bed with her eyes. "Sit down, Ienzo. You're getting tired."

"I know," he said as she pushed him there and sat down next to him. Kairi, though, couldn't keep her eyes away from the left side of his chest, the black bruise still fresh on her mind. She wondered exactly what it was that hurt him so bad. He never really explained, only told her that a man like him, Axel, had him destroyed and that was where he was attacked and injured.

"Your blouse is open," Ienzo suddenly said. He was staring out the window.

She started, then stared at him and then down at herself. Hot blood rushed into her face as she turned her torso away and hastily buttoned up her blouse, forgetting she hadn't done so before she went into his room. Now she was mad at herself, wondered what would have happened if she stepped outside the house while in the mood, with her blouse unbuttoned and only one sock on.

Suddenly she felt Ienzo press against her from behind, as his arms appeared from either side and finished buttoning her blouse for her. Kairi sat there, startled, embarrassed, and shaking as he then embraced her tightly, his chin resting on her shoulder. She could feel his breath brushing past her ear.

"Later…" he whispered, "would you like to go somewhere?"

Where to?

"I want you to remember something."

What is it?

"You'll see."

It wasn't the most satisfactory answer but it'll do. She didn't want to push him. She leaned back against him and closed her eyes. The window was open and she could hear the gulls calling.

"This is such a peaceful place," he murmured as he held her close to him. "If only…"

"Only what?" she asked slowly.

"If only…Radiant Garden was the same way," he admitted. "If only Xehanort…if only he didn't get so carried away…and created the Heartless…and _us_…"

"Too late now," Kairi said. She didn't quite care. He was here and that was all that mattered.

"Yes…" he said slowly, hesitantly. "Too late now…"

He was withholding something. She could hear it in his voice. She willed herself awake and sat up a little straighter, turned her head to look at the profile of his solemn face. "What's wrong?"

"I was…I was just thinking," Ienzo said quietly, his voice hushed and sad. "Thinking…about the 'what if'. When I go…Princess…you don't have to be sad. There's someone else…isn't there? Someone you can't remember, but you're trying to. Someone who's out there, because of we did. What the Organization did. What I did…"

"I-I don't-"

"You're only like this with me because of our memories. A young teenager and a little girl. What would you do when I'm gone? Move on or remain in one place, one memory? You must remember…the boy who's out there, trying to come back home…to you…"

Kairi closed her eyes tightly, wondered desperately why Ienzo was talking like this? Was he really going to die today? Tomorrow? The day after? And how did he know about the strange memories she kept having of a friend she couldn't remember? Did she mention it during one of those nights they sat in this room talking? Did she tell him about her doubts, because all she remembers is the promise?

But why promises? Why did she remember promises and not the people she made them to?

"Don't worry," he said, his lips brushing her cheek. "Don't ever worry. Things will be all right in the end. I'll only be a footnote in your life, a childhood memory, but you mustn't linger on it. We all die…but it's how you meet it…that makes you who you are…and how you'll be remembered…"

"But you said, that being a Nobody-" She felt a hot tear roll down her cheek.

"I'm neither living nor dead but I'm neither a Nobody nor a true human. I remember both and I retain both. Why do you think it took me so many weeks to finally say that I love you? The Nobody was stronger than the person, because if I wasn't a Nobody, I would have told you a long time ago."

"Really?"

"Really."

She nodded once, barely, then felt the words tumble from her lips. "I…I love you, too, Ienzo. I don't know in what way, though. You're right about the boy I can't remember. Is the promise between friends or did I really care for him? Can you help me understand?"

"In a while," he said. "In a while, Kairi. For now…we'll wait. We'll wait…until the time comes…and the sun sets…"

His quiet voice lulled her. She felt his lips brush against her mouth, felt him press in for a kiss, but she couldn't bring herself to respond. She felt so tired…so sleepy…

Kairi sighed as Ienzo slowly lowered her on the bed, and, as he laid himself down next to her, she curled up against him, her forehead pressing against his chest, as sleep swept her away to a faceless voiceless nameless boy in the midst of Radiant Garden's beautiful castle garden. She could see young Ienzo standing to the side, watching them, but she couldn't read his face.

She wondered why she never went to him.

xxx

The sun was setting by the time she stirred, felt Ienzo's arms around her, encircling her, holding her close to him. He felt slightly warm. She wondered why but the 'why' eventually drifted away; the touch of warmth made all the difference. She didn't want to move, didn't want to wake up to the world. Here, hidden away from the outside in the guest bedroom, it seemed like this was all she needed.

Even though it wasn't.

"…you're awake…" he whispered as he moved his head slightly. She looked up and saw him watching her with a hooded sleepy gaze. One of his hands touched her face, brushed aside some stray hair that got the way. She stretched out, brushed her mouth against his. A mingling of breaths. She touched the side of his face, pressed her index finger on the bridge of his nose and slid down to the tip. Then she leaned in and closed her eyes as she kissed him. She took a deep steady breath through her nose as he pressed in, pushing her against the bed. Ienzo pulled back, his lips hovering over hers, his eyes studying hers. She looked up at him, wondered what was going through his mind.

"Do you want to go now?" he whispered. She shivered, feeling his lips move with each sound.

"Not yet. Not yet…" She reached up, touched his face, then pulled him down and pressed her mouth hard against his. He responded almost instantly, pressed his body against hers as he slipped his tongue inside. Kairi moaned at the touches, wrapped her arms around his neck and held him there as he caressed her. She felt his hand slide down her side to her hip, felt him grip her school blouse tightly, stretching it. Then his hand moved under her blouse, touched the skin, and she shuddered. Instantly he pulled his hand away, then slipped out of her mouth and pressed his lips against her cheek.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her ear. His other hand stroked her hair, ran his fingers through it.

"Don't say that," Kairi murmured. She held him tightly, wondered what it was that did happen. She could feel her blood pulsing. "Don't say that…"

A cool sea breeze. Seagulls calling from far away.

"Shall we go?" he asked softly, as he slowly sat up. He flinched and his hand instantly went to his chest. She wanted him rub at where the bruise was.

"Can you?"

He nodded once. "It doesn't matter, Kairi. I have to…I have to show you. Zexion is leaving, and Ienzo can't live long without a heart. That's why…that's why I…"

Ienzo turned away. Kairi pushed herself up, touched his shoulder. He turned to her and she saw the gentle smile gracing his face. Something inside her churned. She pulled herself over to him and kissed him hard on the lips. When she pulled back, they were both breathing hard, and Ienzo looked stunned.

" I understand," Kairi said simply. She had no way of explaining why she did that. "But…the place where you're taking me…take me there, Ienzo. I want to…remember, what it is you want me to remember. If it's the boy, I'll do it…and if it's about us…I certainly will…"

The surprise left his face as Ienzo returned the kiss more gently, his lips like silk and rippling water against hers. She always wondered how he was able to do that; he always left her in awe, and in need.

Desire.

"Come," he whispered, his voice so hushed she could barely hear him. He stood up on the floor, held his hand out to her. She didn't hesitate, let him pull her up, although afterwards she held onto his hand tightly to keep him from staggering.

"I know how to get us there…without anyone knowing. Do you trust me to do this?"

Magic. The magic of the Nobodies. He told her how he was able to transport himself anywhere he wished. And now he was going to show her. How was it possible to open portals in midair that will take you anywhere and everywhere?

She looked up at him, at his doubting face. "I trust you."

He smiled, embraced her, and whispered, "Very well."

Inky black and blue clouds bloomed upwards from their feet and suddenly she wasn't in the guest room anymore. Sand crunched under her feet, cold air blew around her, and there was that overpowering smell of brine. She opened her eyes and saw they were standing on Destiny Islands. Across the sea was a darkened mainland, shining with the many lights lining the streets and gleaming from inside buildings.

There was a deep weary sigh and something heavy fell on the sand behind her. Kairi whirled around, saw Ienzo lying there, taking shallow breaths rapidly, his whole body straining for air. She ran to him, fell to her knees, and pushed him onto his back.

"Ienzo?" she whispered fearfully. "Ienzo!"

He opened his eyes slowly, his lashes shielding the sadness from her frantic gaze. "Kairi, Princess, look carefully. Watch carefully. Watch the waterfall."

The waterfall? She looked up at the waterfall, saw nothing spectacular about it. "What about the-"

A sudden shimmer in the air and she stared as she watched a Kairi months younger approaching the Secret Place. A cold something crept up the spine as she heard the illusion say, "I knew you'd be there."

Ienzo, wearing that dark, dark clothing, suddenly staggered out of the shadows and splashed into the pool. She saw Kairi giggle, say, "You're easy to surprise, aren't you?"

And Ienzo replied, in a cold indignant voice, "No, I just wasn't expecting it. What are you doing here? Why didn't you go back home?"

Kairi gaped at the young man sitting in the pool. He sounded so heartless it frightened her. Was this really Ienzo? She looked down at the real one, saw him wince, as if he regretted saying those words.

"I knew you were here. I waited until the others left to find you. Why didn't you go back to wherever you came from? Why are you still here?"

"I-I don't know…"

But Kairi knew why.

XXX

He wondered if this was something he was going to regret. He knew he could have just told her, perhaps word for word, how he found her in the months before the debacle of Castle Oblivion, but for some reason he felt he should show her the real thing, what really happened, what really took place.

And he had used too much of his energy to do that. For her.

He felt her tremble, her hand resting on his chest shaking. He didn't look at her face, though, didn't want to know what was going through her mind. Instead he closed his eyes, recalled every detail in her face so long ago when he pulled her into the pool with him and kissed her.

"Sora. But…how can I forget? It happened…how can I forget it ever happened?"

Sora.

_Sora_.

**Sora**.

SORA.

"Oh god…" he heard her whisper. "Oh god, no…_Sora_…"

He felt her shift her position, felt her forehead press against his chest. She was shaking, sobbing, and he felt his shirt dampen with hot tears.

"No…Sora...Sora…"

And far away in the memory, the Princess whispered, "Then…then…this is all but a dream."

"Lights and sounds." He grimaced at the painful words. "Smells and touch. Taste. They can ascertain what is truth and what is lies but only memory will prove its worth in the long wrong. Your memory will forget, and soon after so will your senses. It is inevitable, Princess. You and I never met."

_It's a lie…we met long ago, and we met again…and her senses remembered, when her memory failed…_

"Ienzo…Ienzo…" she whispered brokenly. "Why? Why, Ienzo, why…"

He remembered how she looked in the moonlight.

_She was beautiful_.

"Beautiful," he whispered. Suddenly his whole being – whatever was left of it – understood the magnitude of that word. Suddenly he knew exactly what Ienzo meant when he whispered a word that was not in Zexion's vocabulary.

_Beautiful. She was beautiful._

"You're beautiful," he murmured. "You were so beautiful…"

She was still crying but she had fallen silent. Sand crunched beneath feet. He knew the memory was ending.

"Don't worry. One day, you and he will meet again."

A heavy silence.

"I hope so."

The memory was over.

She moved, and the pressure left his chest. He opened his eyes, saw her gazing down at him. Something hot and wet landed on his face, underneath his left eye, and it slid down, to melt into hair and sand. She was crying, her eyes shining with tears. Faint moonlight shone on her, a silvery halo upon her crown. The white blouse she wore seemed to glow.

"Ienzo," she whispered.

They were all alone. The night watched over them, dark clouds shrouding out the light until only the moonlight was beaming down on them. And then it was gone, but she still radiated light in his mind.

Slowly Kairi moved herself, her eyes still fixed on his, her face hovering over his, until she was sitting at his waist, keeping most of gravity on the arms propped up on either side of his head, her hands burrowing into the soft white sand under the weight. They stared up at each other. Then Ienzo slowly sat up, pushing his arms behind him into the ground. She leaned back, remained sitting on his waist.

_Ienzo. _

His mind echoed with the name. His name. Not Zexion. Ienzo. Zexion was leaving. Zexion was gone. The memory had washed Zexion away. Only Ienzo remained.

A cold breeze. Rain was in the wind.

Stillness hung, waiting. It was waiting for him to admit it, accept Zexion's death. Because once Zexion was gone, Ienzo remained, and Ienzo was dying. Swiftly.

He may not last the night.

**XXX**

**Author's Endnote:** I actually have a fanart of this story. You can find it on my deviantArt account, and the address is in my Bio page. Surprise, surprise. And also I decided to play around with the mystery concerning Ienzo and Zexion from the actual games. Have you picked that up?

Please review.

Like _Eyes On Me_, this is a five-part story. Might be the last five-part story I'll ever write. But we'll have to see.

Arigatou gozaimas'.


	5. Believe

**For those who stuck through to the end.**

**Author's Note: **Wow. I just finished another five-part short story. Not sure what else to say. I have no idea what the difference is between a lemon and a lime, so I tried to do a lime but I suppose I haven't done quite enough to have it qualify as a lime. It's not a lemon, either, so no one needs to panic. It's nothing like some of the other stories I've written and read…

**Warning: Slightly _mature_ content. You have been warned.**

**Copyrights:** Characters, back story, and settings are copyrights of Square-Enix and Disney. The title comes from the Yellowcard song 'Believe', like 'Lights and Sounds'. The chapter title is basically the story's title. The song I put into use is Memories – Within Temptation.

**Disclaimer:** If you're dying – not 'if you're going to die' or 'what if you died tomorrow' or 'we all die eventually' – what would you do? Where would you go? Who would you find? What secrets will you tell? What truths will you reveal? What memories will you recall? What will you hold on to before you let go? Will you be remembered?

**XXX**

**β**e∫E**ïv_E_**

**5 – Believe**

A cold breeze. Rain was in the wind. Rain was coming upon the sea. Rain to wash him away.

Ienzo was dying. He could feel it. He could feel the life slowly leaving him, dissolving into nothingness. Zexion was gone, and Ienzo could not live long without the Nobody. Ienzo could not live long without a heart, like Zexion could.

He may not last the night.

Kairi pressed her hands against his shoulders, fingered the thin white fabric. She remained sitting on his waist, didn't seem to notice the intimate pose. Her eyes seemed hooded, her face solemn with deep sadness. In the darkness, though, he could see her red hair shimmering, her blue eyes gleaming with its inner light.

"Ienzo," she whispered again. "Ienzo…"

What was going through her mind?

She brushed her fingers against his face, said, "You're warm."

He was. He felt hot. He felt something pulsing in him, something like a heart. But it wasn't a heart. He had no heart. He was neither Nobody, Heartless, or somebody. He hung in the space between all three. He was nothing.

And something. Someone. A nobody and a somebody.

"Ienzo," she whispered, "I love you."

…_I love you, too…_

"I love you," she said again, her voice choking. "I love you…"

She pressed her head against his chest, started crying again. He closed his eyes, felt her warm body shake with every tear, every sob, every shuddering breath. He raised his left hand, gently ran his fingers through her long red hair. Silk flowed in between, cool like water.

Water…

A cold droplet of water fell on the back of his hand. Another fell on his nose. suddenly more were falling, more raindrops, more cold droplets from the sky. He looked up, wondered if the world was playing a joke by masquerading as the waterfall, or was sobbing for his impending demise.

"Just like the waterfall," he heard her murmur over the relentless pounding rain. It soaked his shirt, drenched his hair, made his dark denim pants damp and heavy. Her hair streamed over her suddenly transparent blouse. He felt something inside him churn as the rain revealed the curves of her body. Ienzo caught himself swallowing hard, realizing all the emotions and sensations lost to him as Zexion were returning swiftly, and with vengeance.

Desire. He wanted to believe it, believe what he was feeling, but it's been so long, and he'll only have one night to experience, truly, what it meant to be a human again. He'll have just one chance to do what was once impossible to him.

Love her. Love the little girl. Love the teenager. Love the Princess of Heart, before he finally fades away.

"Kairi," he whispered, dread filling him as he understood at long last desire. "Kairi, I…I love you…I loved you then and I love you now…as Ienzo. I…"

How was he able to say this? He closed his eyes tightly, felt the cold rain on his hot face. He felt the water dribble down the bridge of his nose and drip off his chin. A deep breath through his nose brought the smell of rain and brine.

Then suddenly he felt her lips on his, soft and wet, meshing with his mouth. Slow and eager. He turned his head slightly, slid his mouth around hers, felt her hands running through his hair. Where he used to feel chills he only felt heat, a hot heavy warmth filling him. It felt like blood coursing through him.

She pulled back but he tugged at her bottom lip, drew her back to him, against him as he wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her deeply, pushing his tongue into her mouth and seeking her flavor. He remembered her flavor so well, so stunningly bittersweet and hot. As the rain fell endlessly he finally let her go and she sat back, her lips still touching his. Ienzo opened his eyes, saw her. She was breathing hard, her red hair streaming over her flush face. He could see it, the understanding, so clearly in her eyes. She knew what he meant. What would she say?

"You're dying," she whispered. He couldn't tell if she was crying or if it was the rain; her voice was shaking. "You're dying. That's why you're saying this, aren't you? Why did you-why did you do that? Why did you show me?"

"I want you to remember," he said quietly, wavering between looking away and steadily returning her pain-filled gaze. "I want you to remember…before I go. Forgive me…"

_Memories, memories, memories…_

With a sob she hugged him tightly, pressing the side of her face against his. He sighed deeply, held her as she cried, "Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn't-why couldn't things be different? Why did it have to be you? _Why_ did it have to be _you_?"

_Why did it have to be me? I don't know, Kairi, Princess. I wish I knew, but I don't know. I'll never know. Nobody will. Absolutely nobody…_

"Why did you come to Destiny Islands?" he murmured into her ear as she fell silent. "Why did your friends become Keyblade Wielders? Why were you a Princess of Heart? Why were you born in Radiant Garden? Do we really know, Kairi? Do we really understand coincidence? Fate? Chance? Destiny? No, we don't. We never will. But you don't have to worry, Kairi,; you don't have to worry and wonder. Just believe. Believe in your memories. Believe in the now. Believe in the future."

"Then where are you?"

"Here. Always with you. A memory."

He felt her hand tighten its grasp on his shirt. "I don't want you to be a memory. I want you to be _real_…"

Pain. It wasn't physical. It was despair. Despair and desire. He could feel the two equally powerful driving emotions roil inside him, begging him, forcing him, demanding he released them. But could he do this? Could he do this to her?

"I am real, Kairi. Touch me, Kairi. Touch my face. I'm still here. Not forever, but right now, I'm here and I'm real. Understand?"

She raised her head and looked at him, blinking at the driving rain. Funny, he suddenly thought. He didn't feel cold at all. And she felt so warm, her skin slick but humming with life. He wanted to feel her against him, skin against skin. A hunger that was driving him over the edge, sending Ienzo where he had never gone before.

"Promise…promise me…promise me you won't ever leave," she said. Suddenly he saw a little girl sitting in his lap, looking up at him with large solemn blue eyes. He could see himself in them, himself and the autumn backdrop where they sat together in the castle gardens in the afternoons long, long ago. "Promise me you'll always be here with me. Even if…"

The real Kairi. She was touching his face, tracing the structure, brushing her fingertips against his neck.

"Even if…"

She leaned closer, her other hand gripping his shoulder tightly until he winced. She paused for a moment; he saw her hesitate, knew she was still unsure of what she was doing.

"Even if…I never come back," he finished. Inside he nearly chuckled at the paradox, but he understood. Never to leave, even when he was long dead and gone from most memories. He'll still be there, in the back of her mind, watching her live. Watching her thrive. Always there.

"I'm always here," he assured her, then leaned forward, catching her by surprise, and pressed his mouth against hers. The wetness made their lips slip, a sensuous struggle, but he locked her mouth with his and held her there.

He felt her arms slide around his neck and pull him closer, until they sank into each other and all thought, all reason, began to melt away.

_In this world you tried  
__Not leaving me alone behind  
__There's no other way  
__I'll pray to the gods: let him stay_

He seemed to float away from himself, was barely conscious of his hands reaching out, touching her waist, tugging at the blouse. But the buttons were in the way; he fumbled with them as the little plastic disks kept slipping from his wet fingers. Then he was pulling her blouse off her shoulders, exposing her to the sea-born rain. His hands touched the hot wet skin, felt her shiver with each move, with each touch, then she unlatched her arms from around his neck to pull off the blouse. It fell in a heap to the side, sinking into the wet sand. Kairi grasped at his shirt, swiftly undid the buttons, and pulled it apart and off his shoulders down to his forearms. She paused then, sat staring at the inky bruise on his chest.

Ienzo closed his eyes, didn't want to see the fatal mark, but then he felt her touch it, a gentle probe and something shot through him. It wasn't pain but it wasn't pleasure, either. It was something else, something beyond comprehension. Something that gave a push to desire and despair.

She looked at him, again hesitant. "Ienzo…"

_The memories ease the pain inside  
__Now I know why_

Forget the scar. Forget the wound. Forget the blade that pierced his chest. Forget the clone that delivered the fatal blow. Forget the colleague who turned on him. Forget all those memories as a Nobody, driven by darkness to unspeakable things. Forget he ever wanted back his heart.

She was his heart. And that was all he really needed. He just wanted one more night with her. And he didn't want anything to get in the way of that.

"Don't," he said, raising his hand and cupping her face, gently. She sighed, seemed to melt into the touch. "Don't think about it, Kairi. Forget everything. Just remember here, here and now."

"I believe you," she murmured, her voice uncharacteristically low and earthy, then leaned in and kissed him. He shuddered as he felt her press herself against him, her hands touching him here and there, and he sank into the sand with her, forgetting even the sea and the rain, living each moment like it was his last.

It didn't matter anymore.

Kairi.

She was with him. She was loving him. That's all that mattered now.

_All of my memories  
__Keep you near  
__In the silent moments  
__Imagine you'd be here  
__All of my memories  
__Keep you near  
__The silent whispers, silent tears_

xxx

The rain fell lightly, misting over the islands and the sea. The lights across the sea were shrouded in the sea-born fog. The moon shone faintly, screened by dissolving dark clouds, but the rain still fell. Moonlight shimmered in each droplet of water. A nighttime rainbow.

Ienzo wondered why he had never seen anything like that before this night. He regretted not paying better attention to the world around him, felt angry he couldn't pay attention to the world without fearing his time was nearing.

But the anger couldn't latch on. As soon as it appeared, it disappeared, leaving him strangely peaceful and dreamy.

A soft moan behind him made him turn around. Kairi was still sleeping, covered by a beach towel he had found folded and forgotten in the tree house on the islands. He smiled at her, then turned and continued staring out the doorway.

After the first rush, the first crescendo, he transported them inside the tree house built into one of the large trees that made of Destiny Islands. There they stayed for what felt like eternity in each others' arms, unable to let go. Now sleep had come and taken her away with it. He was left to contemplate. He could feel his life leaving him, water spilling out onto the hot ground and vaporizing under the rays of the sun.

"I'm sorry, Kairi," he whispered, unable to keep his eyes off of her for any longer than half a minute. A pang in his chest resonated with the longing words.

_Made me promise I'd try  
__To find my way back in this life  
__I hope there is a way  
__To give me a sign you're okay  
__Reminds me again  
__It's worth it all  
__So I can go home_

He knew what he was going to do, but it hurt him so much to even think about it. But still, he had to. Not for his sake – never for his sake – but for hers. He would have been willing to do anything for the little girl. He won't hesitate for the teenager she had become.

Striding over to her, he knelt down and gently lifted her head and shoulders, cradled her, as he retraced exactly what he was going to do. He took her wet clothes, stared a bit curiously at the faint reddish stain on her underwear, and held them in one hand tightly as he opened a portal.

In her room, he laid her on her bed. He placed the clothes next to her, then stood back and took a deep breath. Instantly the smell of _her_ rushed into his mind and he staggered, the scent suddenly overwhelming him. He leaned against the wall, took in shallow breaths as pain exploded in him. But he forced himself to stand up and approach the bed again. He took another deep breath, and willed his mind to mingle with the alluring scent. He held out his arm, palm down, and whispered.

Words lost in time. He could feel the omniscient presence swirl in him and outwards, filling the room with its presence. When he opened his eyes, when time had gone, they were both dry, and they both had their clothes back on. The clock had been wound back for both of them. She remained sleeping on her bed unaware of him as he stood there. He wondered what she would think when she wakes up. Would it all be a dream to her, what happened at the islands, or would she simply wonder at the power he had?

He sat down abruptly on the floor but the impact made no sound. Time was nearer than he realized. Ienzo forced himself back onto his feet, his knees shaking violently, and leaned against the bed. He looked down at the sleeping teenager, the peaceful presence in her expression, and he closed his eyes, unable to look at her face. When will he ever see her again? Once he was gone his memories, his thoughts, his emotions and feelings for her would all disappear. He'll vanish into thin air. He slowly opened his eyes, though, and made himself look openly at her face, and his mind sought to remember it, every little eyelash, the play of night shadows on her face, her blushing lips, the strands of red hair falling over her right eye. And all the while his mind cried for her, for him, for Radiant Garden's memories. He closed his eyes tightly then, shuddered violently as the waves of regret and nostalgia tore through his frame. When he opened his eyes, his vision was blurry and there were droplets on her cheek. She did not stir.

He leaned down and his lips gently pressed against hers. He held the kiss for as long as his limbs could hold him, tried to remember the taste of her, and when he pulled back, her flavor still lingered. Bittersweet, with a hint of brine.

The sea.

Ienzo was silent as he went to the guest room. He pulled off his clothes, and donned his Organization-issue wear. He folded the shirt and the pants neatly and placed them on top of the dresser, then walked slowly to the window. The sky was beginning to lighten. It was time.

_All of my memories  
__Keep you near  
__In silent moments  
__Imagine you'd be here  
__All of my memories  
__Keep you near  
__The silent whispers, silent tears_

Dark smoke poured down onto the white sand, then Ienzo stepped out onto the shores of Destiny Islands. He could not see the mainland; the mists still hid it from him. He wondered if the mists had something against him.

One step and he was down on his knees, grimacing at the pain storming violently in his chest. This time it spread all over him, and he couldn't stop himself from crying out as a hundred sharp daggers stabbed him, again and again, and when they stopped he lay there in the sand, gasping for air, feeling lightheaded. When he pushed himself onto his knees, he looked down and saw there was no impression on the ground where he fell. Ienzo shuddered.

He could hear the sea, rippling and quiet, calm after the wild crashing during the night storm. It was calling him. The hated sea with its vile salty breath was beckoning him into its open arms, into to its deep blue depths.

Ienzo rose to his feet, then looked down the beach, saw impressions in the sand. He looked harder and in his mind he saw them, saw them loving each other swiftly and slowly, with the deep sorrowful love that made it less about passion and more about the inevitable. There was no passion and lust, only desire and despair. And love. Love born of memories, protected by memories, waiting for the moment to let itself be known.

Ienzo always loved Kairi, always. Life just didn't let things unfold the way he wished they wood. But…at least the moment came.

A step towards the sea. It was beckoning him, calling him, the repulsive powerful smell. His boots touched the surf and then he was stepping into the shallows. He felt like he was walking on top of water, felt he was floating. Ienzo didn't stop, kept walking, deeper and deeper. He could feel himself dissolve into the ocean. The sea was eating him away.

He closed his eyes as he sank underneath.

And before Ienzo, suddenly there was light.

_Together in all these memories  
__I see your smile  
__All the memories I hold dear  
__Darling you know I love you till the end of time_

To him, she was still smiling that beautiful smile of hers on her beautiful face.

Kairi. Princess.

_I love you. Goodbye…_

XXX

She stared across the sea, still watching the islands, but the despair was growing. The need was growing. Could she wait any longer? The message in the bottle had drifted far away from the mainland and her thoughts, and no one had answer. No one had come back. And there was only one option left for her now.

Ienzo was right. Sora was her life now.

"Maybe…waiting isn't good enough," she sighed, willing yet unwilling to face it.

And from behind her, "My thoughts exactly! If you have a dream, don't wait. Act. One of life's little rules. Got it memorized?"

She knew who he was. Ienzo told her already. He had warned her of what Axel was. Who Axel was.

_You!_

But Axel wouldn't know her. So she'd have to play with him, and see.

"Who are you?"

The red-haired man with the bright green eyes and the Organization coat approached her, looking thoughtful. "Axel. I happen to be an acquaintance of Sora's. Why don't we go see him?"

Sora?

_Sora._

Sora.

**Sora.**

SORA.

"Sora?"

A flurry of feet in the sand and something yellow and black bounded into view. Her heart skipped a beat. She knew the dog anywhere and everywhere. Pluto! He dashed over to her and she bent over to pat him on the head . The man looked at Pluto with contempt.

Pluto started barking. Suddenly strange white creatures spun out of the air and into a large circle around her, Pluto, and the Nobody. She gasped and stared around wildly, then looked at Axel.

"We've got something in common, Kairi. You and I both miss someone we care about. Hey…I feel like we're friends already."

Kairi felt herself grow angry. She knew what Axel was up to, knew he was trying to make her follow him off Destiny Islands to do whatever the Organization wanted her to do. Then she heard a whistle and spotted darkness smoking from the air to the sand. A portal! Axel didn't seem to notice. Axel hadn't opened it. She edged towards it, careful not to warn Axel of what she was going to do.

Now!

"You're not ACTING very friendly!"

And she ran.

To the portal.

To somewhere out of the boundaries of Destiny Islands.

To Riku.

To Sora.

_Ienzo, you're right. Even if you are gone, there's others still out there, others I care for. But I won't forget you. I love you. Until we meet again, beyond the boundaries of this life…_

…_Kairi._

_All of my memories  
__Keep you near  
__In silent moments  
__Imagine you'd be here  
__All of my memories  
__Keep you near  
__The silent whispers, the silent tears…_

**XXX**

**Author's Endnote:** It may be a while before I write another short story that's not a oneshot, because I'm preoccupied with my two major stories, some serious artwork for deviantArt, and college applications. College applications must burn in hell.

Anyways, I love those of you who stuck through to the end, especially the ones who read Lights and Sounds. To all reviewers I give kudos but to those who read both stories through and through, I give extra props. No offense to those who only read this one, though. Like I said, I love you all!

Please review.

Arigatou gozaimas'.


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